A simple and common question,
not easy to answer.
Therapist: Are you happy?
Client: No, I am not.
Therapist: You are not happy.
Client: I am not…How can I be happy?
Therapist: Would you be willing to change _______________ (fill in the blank)?
Client: ….Um…I…I don’t want…to change _______________.
Therapist: Are you happy now in the _______________ situation?
Client: No. I am very unhappy. I want to have a happy life.
Therapist: What is a “happy life” to you?
Client: Not having/seeing/doing/taking/living in _______________ anymore. Is there any way I can be happy again without having to change the situation?
Therapist: What about changing a little something of _______________? We can make little steps of change towards your desire of being happy again.
Client: …I…I am…afraid…to change…what if I felt even worse after making a change?
[Counselling session continues…]
It is common for people to struggle at some points in life to change something of their situation/behavior/mindset/feeling…in order to live a happy life.
Making change can be difficult for many people as it is risky. It is scary too, as they don’t know what it would be like to have a changed life that they have never experienced before. And, no matter how unhappy the situation have brought to them, they have already gotten used to it – it seems at least safe (to their current knowledge & awareness) to stay in the situation.
Therefore, it takes courage for a person to seek counselling as he/she must have hoped for a change in life. Nevertheless, the process leading to change is never magical. The psychological barrier (fear, anxiety) relating change is what a therapist works together with client to feel safe and supportive in making a small step of change towards happiness.
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