距離哲學

《瑪嘉烈與大衛系列: 前度》裡面的一對戀人–瑪嘉烈與洛奇—在畫廊有以下的對話互動.
瑪嘉烈問洛奇: 「你覺得愛情最好既距離系咩?」
洛奇回答:「愛情呢, 系應該無距離. 有距離即系有隔膜.」
瑪嘉烈望住洛奇數秒, 說: 「但唔系應該咩既關係都要有適當的距離咩……兩個人太近, 其實咩野都睇唔清.」
她走向洛奇, 靠近到她既鼻掂到洛奇既鼻, 望著洛奇說: 「你宜家睇得清我咩?」
然後, 瑪嘉烈往後退幾步, 望住洛奇說: 「宜家咪睇得清囉. 」  

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講不出的故事, 最需要被聽見

20年以來, Prince Harry 失去了媽媽的故事, 被埋藏在內心的最深處.
失去生命中重要的人, 內心複雜的哀傷及痛苦, 並沒有因為「被滅聲」而真的消失, 切割關連. Continue reading

Psychology of Excuses

whats your excuse
Many people across ages struggle with looking for a job they desire, accepting a job offer/promotion,  or making a change in their career direction.

“I am too busy to do anything about changing job.“
“I don’t have the ability to do the work.”
“I won’t be able to have work-life balance.”
“Many people think/see/act this way.”
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Self-Awareness Matters

What is self-awareness (自我察覺)?

It is a process of self-exploration that brings unconscious to conscious. It is like a person having an internal dialogue (not the same as self-talk)  with his/her inner self. “That’s the way I am” and “I already knew that I have been repeating this behavior/emotional experience” are example statements of self-understanding.  Yet, an intellectual level of understanding does not ncessarily bring change.

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輔導室裡的故事

White comfy chair

在輔導房間裡, 最常訴說未了的故事圍繞後悔 (regrets), 迷惘 (lost), 恐懼 (fear).

不容易講出來的故事, 自然會想避免接觸, 不去講也不去看. 可是, 這些未了的故事並沒有真的被遺忘, 那些情緒總會在生活, 工作, 關係裡隱約地出現.

故事 (已發生了的事情, 作過的抉擇) 是不能從頭來過.

承認故事裡的後悔, 迷惘或恐懼的存在, 學習與它們共處, 並接受它們是成為現在的你的一部分. 然後, 在整合中才能重新認識自己, 賦予那些故事新的意義, 逐步編寫將來人生故事的章節.

輔導就是關於承認, 共處與接納的過程. 

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Feeling Stuck?

Feeling Stuck

Inside the counseling room,
Amanda presents her trouble with husband.
Kenny presents his problem with school work.
Sally presents her conflicts with employer.
Victor presents his struggle with “social anxiety”.
…they all feel “stuck” in their own issue.
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